HOUSE OF ROBERTS BLOG

In motherhood, it’s so easy to get caught up in “all the things.” You could not sit all day if you allowed it, you could not eat once if you didn’t notice, and you could hold your pee till the next day if you wanted. My point is, it’s really easy to fill the space. Motherhood and all we have to accomplish is never truly done, in reality, and if left unchecked it can make us run around endlessly filling our time. In the last few years, I have felt the Lord over and over again tell me to “STOP” in the middle of a task at hand. He would call me out and say stop doing what you’re doing and go color with your kids, go chalk on the walk with them, or go play their favorite game of kicking a ball in the air (endlessly ha!) so they can take turns catching it. I have sensed Him release me from things I think “matter” to get wrapped more around what HE KNOWS matters. He very quickly whispers to my heart “They won’t always want to do these things with you—it goes fast” and within an instant I’m sobered up out of the daze of “life”, putting down all my tasks and running to get time with them.

Mike and I have this saying “He who gets the most time in, WINS” meaning “Time in” is formidable in a person’s life and heart. There are seasons in parenthood that are more forming than others. Toddler and Elementary-age kids are like little sponges soaking up their surroundings every day. That’s why it’s important to watch what they are watching, listening to, and who they are surrounded with. It’s also why you should be intentional in this season to PUT IN what you want in them. Scripture, family values, healthy routines, small responsibilities, a love for dried mango…ANYTHING! Why? Because they are SPONGES! Mike and I have a deep conviction in this hour that the most forming person or thing in our kid's lives must be us! In order to do that, we have to make time!

Time for conversation: Conversation is so key in life, right? How can you truly know anyone without good communication in place? Creating space and time to be able to sit, hear, listen, and respond to someone is the foundation of forming a real relationship. It’s not always convenient, you don’t always feel like it, but wow is it always powerful. My kids love to talk ha! I have not one quiet one in the bunch, and I won’t lie it’s sometimes so exhausting to hear all their thoughts but I never want to squelch their desire to share with us. I love that even now where they are at they share safely and freely all their hopes and fears with us. I want this to be normal, common, and a natural habit in their life rhythm to share and open up with us. I want their trust and honesty. I want to KNOW them and they KNOW me. This only happens with TIME IN with conversation.

Time for Adventure: Oh man we have found this to be true time and time again, that every little and big adventure we take as a married couple and as a family BINDS US together deeper. Whether we are all doing something for the first time, or get a flat tire on the way, or jump into the freezing cold river together, or learn a new skill, whatever it is TIME IN exploring, laughing, being vulnerable in the new, and creating moments together is shaping and binding in a way a book or class can never teach how to do by just reading. The lie is, if you don’t do it big or spend a lot of money it’s not worth it but I have found the size or price of the adventure doesn’t matter it’s the TIME IN that counts.

Time for Building: Working together has become a newer conviction for us over the last 2 years. Mike and I are a little OCD and just a taaaad controlling over whatever our hands are working on. We want it to be done well, in excellence, and it’s really hard to turn that off in family life. Now we aren’t these fear-mongering parents who are putting unrealistic expectations on our kids from age 2. No, we simply were just doing everything for them. Cleaning their rooms, plating their dinner like it was being served to the president, making their lunches, putting their things away, and the list goes on. Now what we found was, that it wasn’t that our kids weren’t wanting to help, we just weren’t letting them. OUCH! The Lord began to open our eyes and bring conviction to this 2 years ago. He said, “ I have called you to TRAIN them in all things in life! Learning and training come by doing you have to let them DO!” Woah another light switch was turned on! All of a sudden I realized that if I kept telling them I didn’t need their help making dinner or cleaning the house I was actually hurting them and training not to contribute to family and LIFE. Now understand this is a messier way, this is a slower way, this is “Lord give me grace” way, but this is the training way. This is a way that goes from just doing a “task” at hand to a moment of bonding and building together. This is necessary to the dynamic of your home, creating mutual contribution and a culture of working together that will bless your home (eventually, after you get over yourself ha!) and overflow into the world around them.

It takes TIME IN to do this! There may be some no’s you have to say in order to make these adjustments but it’s worth it! That we could have our kids' hearts and train them up in the way they should go so that when they get older they will not depart from it! Praying for you as you read this God would highlight to you maybe even just one thing to become more intentional with, with your TIME IN with your kids!