HOUSE OF ROBERTS BLOG

There's this story that was told to me that I think about often. It goes something like this…There once was a farmer who got into his truck to head into town to grab some supplies. On his way, he passed by his neighbor’s property and saw him putting up a fence with his two sons. After a few hours, the farmer headed home and when he got close to his property he noticed that his neighbor and his sons had barely made any progress on the fence. He was so perplexed by their lack of progress that he parked his truck on the side of the road, and made his way to where they were. When he got there, he remarked to his neighbor that at the pace they were moving it would take forever to build that fence. His neighbor’s response was, “Oh you are mistaken…I’m not building a fence right now, I’m raising sons.” See the goal for the neighbor was not to build the fence quickly, but to teach his sons how to build a fence correctly and that was going to take time. 

The truth is, fathering cannot be done quickly. It takes patience and time to raise sons and daughters, and often it also takes time to see the results. I think it is important for you to read that because our culture rarely puts an emphasis on things that take time. We hate to wait. We like results right away, we like shortcuts, and if something is taking time we usually think that something is wrong. I get it, I feel the same way about waiting and so I am working on rewiring my brain to see fathering with a different perspective.

The reason is because fathering is not just telling your children what to do and not to do. It’s also about instructing them on how to do it, and modeling before them what it looks like. That takes time and it also requires your presence. I need to be around my kids enough for them to see me treat their mother with respect and love. They need to see me get frustrated but keep my cool. They need me to let them try putting their bike chain on their bike with me instructing them, and not me doing it for them. They need me to encourage them as they try to do a front flip on the trampoline and then watch me try it and fail horribly. They need to sit next to me while I read my Bible out loud to them.

Listen, you are raising sons…You are raising daughters…You’re not just “building a fence.” This will take time, it will take intentionality, it will take patience, it will take self-control, but it is necessary and so worth it! I know you might feel overwhelmed at the thought of doing all that, but don’t forget who you have on the inside of you. You have the Holy Spirit! And because of that, you have access to what is found in Galatians 5:22-23. It says, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” 

You can do this Dad! Whenever you start getting frustrated, remind yourself that you are raising sons and daughters, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Then watch how you begin to father at another level, and how your children will be prepared for all that God has for them. So go build a fence with them…