HOUSE OF ROBERTS BLOG

Last week I wrote on connecting with your kids and hopefully after reading it you were encourage and not discouraged. I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I read content on fatherhood I feel like more of a piece of crap than a good dad…But that is not true of me and it is not true for you either. If you’re reading this then it means that you desire to be a better dad which tells me that you already are a good one. Don’t get down on yourself! 

For this week, I thought I’d share some of the content that went on the “cutting room floor” of my last post. Sometimes I write too much for a post, and I have to cut good but not necessary content out. There was some content from last week that I cut that I actually think will help you continue to get better at connecting with your kids. With that said, here are some additional thoughts and tips on connecting. 

• Think in quality not quantity. Don’t feel the pressure to have a million moments with each kid, just try to have meaningful ones because certain moments carry more weight than others. With that, look to leverage certain days to create those quality moments, like: birthdays, first and/or last days of school, making the honor roll at school, after their school play performance, turning thirteen, their first day of their first real job, etc.

• Connecting is unique to the makeup of your child. Some of your kids connect best by doing something with them like throwing a football around. Some will connect best if you go shopping with them, others if you let them get some ice cream and play a card game with them. Ask the Holy Spirit, and your wife, to figure out what is the best way to connect with each kid and craft that moment to best setup you and your kid for success.

• They need your words. When you spend time with them, leverage that time to talk to them. Ask them questions, and respond with follow-up questions after they answer. Speak life over them in those moments and beyond. They will hear your voice when you bring corrections, just make sure they also hear your voice speaking something positive over them.

• They need your attention. Do not multi-task when you spend time with them. Put the phone away, and don’t do something like watch TV together because that is not connecting with them, that is just being in the same room.

• These moments are more likely to happen if you plan them. You’re busy, I get it, so these moments don’t happen organically, they usually only happen if you plan them.

• Some kids you might have to connect with more for a season. For example, right now I feel like I need to spend more time with Ford but that might not always be the case. Down the road it will be another one of my kids. This isn’t a socialistic approach, it is a spirit-led strategy to help you best father all of your kids. 

• Whatever you do, be consistent with it. Nothing will frustrate your child more than starting and stopping something. With that said, if this is new for you then don’t go big right away. Small consistent steps are the best way to establish routines that will stick. 

Okay hope that helps you become a Rockstar at connecting with your kids. You got this dad, go make some cool memories with them!!