HEY DAD,

Model, then teach...

When you think about your dad, what do you remember the most? For me, it was how he lived his life. I remember coming down most mornings and seeing him in his chair with his Bible in his lap. I remember seeing him do the dishes after dinner, and yes, he would have a pint of ice cream next to him while he was doing it, but hey it was part of his process. I remember how he made me and my brother pray while we drove to school every morning. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t remember some of the instructions that my dad gave me; it’s just that how he lived impacted me the most. 

I’m saying this because, dad, I want you to realize that how you live your life will have an incredible influence on your children. Do your children need your words? Yes! Do they need your instruction? Yes! However, what will give the words you say to your children more weight will be the life you have lived that preceded those words. The apostle Paul knew that when he wrote this to a young church in Corinth. 

”Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1. Paul would give plenty of instructions and correction to his spiritual sons and daughters in Corinth, but what he also offered them was a life worth following. And I would argue that it was how he lived in front of them that gave his words the weight that they had.

Dad, here is what I am going to say about the life that you are living in front of your family. One, it will be what they remember most about you. Second, it will either reinforce or detract from the instructions that you give them. So, as fathers, let’s get really good at living lives that follow Jesus. Let us love our wives the way Jesus loves the church. Let us be servant-leaders in our home. Let us model authentic growth in our relationships with God. Let us model asking and granting forgiveness. And if there is an area where our kids seem to be struggling in, the first move we should make is to do an evaluation of that area in our own lives.

For example, if my kids are struggling with dishonoring their mother, yes, I will correct them in that moment. I will also take some time to self-evaluate and ask the Holy Spirit to show me if I am modeling dishonoring behavior toward their mother as well.

Parenting is not meant to be a 'do as I say and not as I do' approach. In fact, that approach won’t work. Our children become who we are, and that shouldn’t scare or discourage you. That should actually give you hope because what I am telling you will help you as you are raising your kids. And for the record, your kids do not need perfect children; they just need dads who are always striving to grow and get better. So this week, live a life worth following, and watch how your children follow you.